At one point in your life, if not many, you may feel as if the rug got pulled out from underneath you. You’re knocked to your knees and finding yourself asking why, why me? It is moments like these that you may question the universe, yourself, your faith, your being/existence and even your lifes’ purpose. You search for answers in your head only to find yourself still asking the question, why me?
Instead of questioning the universe, God and whoever/whatever else you question, you should instead try thanking it first and be grateful for the lesson and for the gift that this current situation will bring about. Let go of not having all the answers that you’re demanding right now. Surrender to it all. This is exactly how it is supposed to be and exactly what is supposed to happen to you, at this very moment, whether you want to believe it or not. There is a beautiful gift and lesson waiting to be realized and gained from this life situation you are in right now.
You have only so many options when you’re confronted with an unpleasant life situation: resist/deny it, accept it or lament/feel sorry for yourself. Absolutely, yes, allow yourself to grieve and deal w/ your situation as it comes, whether it’s denial, anger, bargaining, grief, sorrow, or all of the above, but have acceptance & surrendering be your focus & ultimate goal.
As Rumi says, “When the world pushes you to your knees, you are in the perfect position to pray.”
This is the time & the perfect opportunity for you to put your life situation, you, yourself and your life in general, under review.
- First, cry it out. Yell, scream, moan, groan, shout, stomp, do whatever you gotta do to just let it all out. And then, cry some more. If you don’t let it out, you will only internalize those feelings, which won’t serve you now, nor in the long run. If you feel like you need to cry but can’t connect to those feelings at the moment, watch movies, videos or a play that you can connect to that side of you to help bring those emotions up and out. Those ASPCA commercials and some romantic movies usually get to me. You can even watch an old favorite, that you know you’ve had a good cry in, like The Notebook or Gladiator. If the movie is related to your life situation in any way you can also gain additional and an alternative insight to your situation in a light that you are more open to hear, because movies are pleasurable and an escape from reality. In this case, look for movie titles that you can relate to with your current life situation. Or look for comedies that poke fun at your life situation for some comical relief.
Either way, give yourself permission to cry or release your feelings/emotions and get it off your chest, sometimes you just need a good cry. Singing is a good emotional release too, if that comes easier to you.
- Secondly, write it out, journal, talk it out with friends or to yourself (if you’re desperate or have limited options). Just do a brain dump, whatever comes to mind just write it down and let it go. Get it out of your head and put it on the paper. Relinquish your stuff to the paper gods, it’s their problem now, not yours ^_^
- Third, reflect on this life situation. Ask yourself what is the lesson in this? What can I gain and learn from this? What role did I play in this and how can I improve on that?
- Fourth, accept, surrender and let go of the situation. However, if it’s something you feel that you need to act upon, absolutely take action. If you’re feeling in a place of courageousness, that is a gift in itself. Go with it. Forgive yourself, forgive that person involved, and forgive the life situation that you’re currently in. Know that this too shall pass. The sun will rise and the sun will set and you have no control over that. You don’t have any control over certain if not most things in this life and so you have to just accept, go with the flow and surrender. Enjoy the ride.